Thursday, May 8, 2014

Baby Big Mac (AKA Darby) - A Letter at 2 Weeks Old

May 8, 2014

Oh Dear Darby,

My diamond baby, you did it, you came in April, all on your own, just like Mama wanted, no emeralds in this house. 2 weeks ago today you made your appearance, in a rather dramatic fashion, but more on that later. You were born at 39 weeks 2 days and I sincerely appreciate it as had you waited until 41 weeks like your brother you may well have outweighed him. Weighing in at 9 pounds 3 ounces and measuring 20 inches your arrival was shorter and smoother than your brother's, which allowed us to focus on the joy of adding you to our family and just simply adoring you! 

I must admit that I miss having you in my belly and feeling your kicks, it was nice having you all to myself and since our plan is for you to be our last baby I wish I had savored the belly a little bit more. We have a wonderful bubble right now - you, me, Ewan, and Daddy - and I am irrationally protective of this and don't want to rush the bursting that will inevitably occur. 

Your brother loves you dearly, and while he doesn't seem to completely understand what gentle means, and is a bit more dramatic at moments, we can see his adoration growing. At school his teachers say he spends the afternoon chanting "mama, dada, baby" over and over. He is so curious about you and questions your choice to only drink "wawa" and not eat dinner with us, but all that wawa is definitely doing right by you as you are already up 12 ounces from birth!

And now it's time for that part of the story, the birth story, something I will document here for you and me... Maybe one day you'll have a baby and wonder about your own arrival and I want to remember the miracle my body provided our family by carrying/growing/delivering you and the beauty of the night I met you. 

On the night of April 23rd I enjoyed the umpteenth root beer float of my pregnancy and tucked myself in to bed at 11:00pm to watch an episode of Friends on Nick@Nite. Just as I dozed off (11:30pm) my water broke, which in my sleepy daze I thought was me wetting the bed, don't worry that isn't something that has happened, but since the doctor broke my water with your brother the thought that my water would break on its own hadn't really occurred to me, aside from in a random dramatic daydream as I walked through Target earlier that day. I woke your Daddy up to tell him, his response, "are you sure?" My answer, "Uhm yes, look." 

While I excused myself to the bathroom to have a mild panic attack your Dad got up, got dressed, called the doctor, called Auntie M to come watch Ewan, packed the few things on my list, and got the outfit on my "what to wear" post-it all while urging me that we needed to go to the hospital. I adamantly denied that your labor was going to go that quickly and refused to wake Ewan up to go to the hospital, I wanted to wait for Auntie M to arrive from the East Bay. In an attempt to convince him it wasn't going that quickly I told him I would lay down and time my contractions, a great plan until I saw on my iPhone screen that the contractions were about 40 seconds long and occurring every 3 minutes, with your brother they told me to come when they were 5 minutes apart... So yeah, your Dad won that round - I walked to the car, he got Ewan, and we were on our way. At this point it was 12:30pm, my stubbornness killed an hour. 

When we got to the hospital (Lucille Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford) Auntie M was still 20 minutes away so I wandered up to Labor & Delivery alone, checking in just before 1:00am. Based on the details I provided the nurses took me directly to room 8 and started the admissions process and exam to see I was 4 centimeters, which I took as proof it wasn't going that fast because your brother was born 6 hours after I was 4cm... But then 20 minutes later I was 6cm and 30 later I was 10cm, I really hate being wrong. 

Your Dad met Auntie, transferred the car seat and your brother, and headed up to meet me. He got to the room around 1:30am, my epidural was on its way and the nurses had just put a monitor on your head, since you were moving so quickly the belly monitor kept losing you and we wanted to hear that beautiful thump thump thump of your heartbeat. The pain was getting pretty intense and the nurse offered me a medicine that she described as 3 margaritas, no pain relief, but I would care less. I took it and she was right, I proceeded to apologize to the nurse for my "butt breath" and ask her how many epidurals the anestisialogist had done once he finally arrived near 2:00am. 

To get the epidural I had to sit up and arch my back, doesn't sound hard, but at that point it was. The process of inserting the spinal catheter took about 10 minutes and towards the end I was in quite a bit of pain and told them there was a lot of pressure and my body really wanted to push, which I couldn't stop. I began to panic and as soon as the epidural was inserted they rolled me quickly to my back to take a look and there your head was, I then heard mutters about the epidural not having time to work. My body kept pushing as they got everything ready, Dr. K came in (Dr. Rothstein wasn't on call this night, but things moved so quickly I didn't have time to be upset), they told me to push on my next contraction, and that was it, at 2:14am (4/24/14 at 2:14am, I love even numbers) there you were. You entered the world screaming, pinked up quickly, and you were ready to cuddle. Daddy cut your cord, which he described as beef jerky (specifically a Slim Jim) feeling, and then you were on my chest, where you spent the next 90-minutes, only interrupted by the anesthesiologist coming in to apologize that I hadn't really gotten the epidural (just the catheter, no medicine) before you arrived. 

Your Dad and I chatted about the craziness of your arrival, how we would spread the news to the family, and when we would bring your first visitor, your big brother Ewan. Then around 4:00am the nurse grabbed you for a quick wipe down (they do baths 24 hours post birth now, Ewan's was just an hour or two after) and to gather your stats, which we had all been betting on because you were big, but we weren't sure how big - you didn't seem that big to me, but my only real reference point was your brother. 

After that we made our way to our room in the maternity wing and running on adrenaline we met the well baby nurse and the postpartum nurses, watched a little television, and after confirming the Starbucks was open your Daddy headed out at 5:45am so he could be home when your brother woke up and get him ready to meet you. I took those couple hours before they returned to snuggle you my sweet girl. I dreamt about you specifically for 9ish months, but a daughter was something I had imagined since I was little and now you were here. 

It is safe to say I already can't imagine life with out you, and with the removal of the first-time mom worry I had with Ewan I have just been able to soak you in. I have spent hours looking at your face, kissing your cheeks and forehead, and daydreaming about the woman you will become. 

Welcome Love!

Our first photo!

No comments:

Post a Comment