Tuesday, March 8, 2016

A letter to my son on this the day of his fourth birthday...

Dear Ewan -

You are simply the sweetest. Since you have been able to express emotion we have been delighted at your sweetness, proud of your empathy, and a little fearful of the jadedness that typically comes with age. I watch you many days, but very much on birthdays, and hold my breath a bit in hopes that I will see sure signs of your big heart. This year, your 4th year, you continued to feel all the feelings and have continued to thrive in connecting with people... little people and big people, but I would say most of all your baby Darby who you pledge to marry one day, you don't recognize others as potential future partners and I feel ZERO need to burst this bubble yet.

I am often stopped by the parents of your friends (I have even received emails), by your teachers, and even by your sister's teachers, because people want to discuss what a sweet boy you are. I am so pleased that this year you continued to be a Mama's Boy, do not feel bad for your Dad for a minute because baby Darby is firmly on his team. I love that you still want to cuddle with me, ask to sleep with me, request time with me, and that you miss me when I am gone. The bond we have is one that I never imagined and I say little prayers all the time that we will have an adult version of this when you are big.

Speaking of when you grow up, you are very keen on "being big like Daddy" and I often promise you that you will be bigger and that you have plenty of time. You are so ready to be big, but dread going to college because we will not be there with you. In your mind you will be a Marlin (3/4 class), a Bat Ray (4/5 class), in kindergarten, and then off to college. Like time in general, school is an odd thing for you, and when I pause to reassure you that you have a ton of time until college, and that when it comes you will be dying to go, I am also convincing myself (in my head) that I will someday be ready for the reality of a Ewan-less home. You make us all better and you make our home our favorite place.

In terms of your likes and dislikes you are still in the camp of eating/drinking pizza, mac and cheese, orange chicken, yogurt, cheese, milk, lemonade, popcorn, ritz crackers (you can't be tricked by others), and donuts for every/any meal... this year you have been good about exploring new proteins and drinking more water, which both feel like wins. You are doing very well at school: you can count in to your thirties, write pretty much anything in capital letters, have amazing story retention, enjoy all the sports activities the teachers can muster, embrace science very naturally since you are so curious, and art is your go to free choice activity, you have never seen a roll of tape or a pair of scissors that you do not like. You have played little bits of video games with your Dad and are nearing being better than me at some, we limit this time but indulge occasionally, for bonding you understand. I would still call going to movies your favorite pastime and when asked where you want to go you frequently answer Disneyland, which we loved doing for your birthday this year. You also often request Hawaii and are excited to visit Mexico this summer... We love that you enjoy travel and are a little jealous that your passport currently has more stamps in it than ours did when we were 25 years old.

We know this next year will be full of adventures and we can't wait to see them all through your eyes. Ewan, you are truly our world and you make it a happier place everyday.

We love you SO SO SO SO BIG!
Mama

Waiting for Midway Madness on his 4th!

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